Setting Sail on a Journey of Friendship

Before I start I want to dedicate this blog to the people in my life who have taught me the most about being a good friend. I might not have always known how to be a good friend back to you but you all have shown me Godly love that has healed me and helped me learn. (I am such a baby because why am I crying)

I just recently left my life group where I spent time with some of the ladies from my church, and it was such a refreshing experience. I attend a church of a decent size, and life groups are a way to stay connected, discuss sermons, and share life while our kids play.

During our Mommy-and-Me outing, the ladies brought up a sermon I had missed. The topic? The kinds of friends you need in your "boat" and the ones you should throw overboard (Because not my pastor saying to throw people overboard lol). It resonated deeply with me and reminded me of something I had already begun writing about friendships. Let's dig into what I learned.

1. The Value of Friendships

Friendships are powerful. In John 15:13 (ESV), Jesus tells us: "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends."

We've all experienced good and bad friendships. If we're honest, we've probably been on both sides—good friends to some and bad ones to others. I’ve been there, too. Loyalty used to be my only qualifier for friendship, but as I've grown, I've realized that's not enough.

Reflection Question: What makes a good friend in your life?

2. Identifying the Wrong Friends

God provides clear guidance on the company we should keep. Consider these warnings:

• Gossipers Proverbs 20:19 (KJV) says, "He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips." Gossip can seem harmless, but it often leads to slander or misunderstanding. I’ve had to separate myself from gossipers—and let’s be real, I’ve been guilty of gossip too. Now, I aim to surround myself with friends who shut it down and hold me accountable. It doesn't always feel good trust me, but I know I need.

  Additional Verses:

  • 1 Corinthians 15:33-34 (ESV): “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals.’ Wake up from your drunken stupor, as is right, and do not go on sinning.”

  • Psalm 101:5 (KJV): “Whoso privily slandereth his neighbour, him will I cut off: him that hath a high look and a proud heart will not I suffer.”

    
    

• Negative Influences Are your friends leading you astray? Proverbs 13:20 (ESV) warns: "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm."

  Friends who embrace worldly values can pull us away from God. I had a friend whose negativity about relationships began to influence how I treated my husband during a tough season for us when we were separated. It was toxic for my marriage, and I handled the end of that friendship terribly. I was very immature, But I did learn the importance of setting boundaries.

  
  

  Additional Verses:

  • James 4:4 (KJV): “Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God?”

  • Proverbs 1:10-13 (ESV): "My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent."

    
    

• Untrustworthy and Hypocritical Friends Proverbs 26:24-26 (ESV) reminds us: "Whoever hates disguises himself with his lips and harbors deceit in his heart; when he speaks graciously, believe him not, for there are seven abominations in his heart."

  A good friend is consistent in their words and actions. If someone’s words don’t align with their heart or their actions, it’s a red flag. Also, we must be on the lookout for hypocritical friends because it will bring you down and delay you from your work.

3. Qualities of a Godly Friend

While we must be cautious of bad influences, God also gives us examples of what a good friend should look like.

• Seekers of God A true friend points you toward God. In difficult moments, they encourage you to lean on Him rather than indulge in worldly desires.

• Loving Biblical love goes beyond feelings. 1 Peter 4:8 (KJV) says: "And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins." A loving friend forgives and uplifts, embodying the love of Christ. Luke 6 tells us what unconditional love should look like.

• Encouraging Friends should build you up. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (ESV) says: "Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing." Encouraging friends leaves you feeling energized, the opposite of what hypocritical friends may make you feel.

• Trustworthy Ephesians 4:15 (ESV) advises: "Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ." A trustworthy friend speaks the truth in love, even when it’s hard to hear.

  
  

4. Conclusion: Trust God with Your Friendships

Ultimately, friendships can be for seasons, reasons, or lifetimes. The best thing to do is to bring your relationships to God in prayer and trust His guidance. Then if he tells you to cut them off, you won't feel bad because you're just being obedient, see how that works? (lol) Remember, Ecclesiastes 4:10 (ESV) says: "For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!"

Not every friendship is meant to last forever, and that’s okay. As Proverbs 13:20 reminds us having a bunch of friends is not always good, choose your companions wisely. God will direct your path to those who will encourage, uplift, and sharpen you in faith.

Reflection Question: What steps can you take today to strengthen or reevaluate your friendships?