Hot Mess Express: A Journey Through Chaos, Healing, and Grace

Honestly, I’m not even sure how I want to start this first post. What I do know is that I want to be transparent and honest. I don’t want this to be sad or gloomy because, let’s be real, my life is not that. I want this to be engaging, beneficial, and, above all, I want to glorify God in everything I do.

So, maybe I should start with who I am. My name is Apollo Abrams, but when I got married, I became Apollo Stuckey. I can't wait to take y’all down the rabbit hole of marriage—just wait because my marriage started off crazy. It's gotten better, but let me tell you, in the beginning, I spent way too much time out at all hours of the night, pregnant and looking for a man, like some kind of fool. So when I say, "I've done it all," I mean it, okay? I'm definitely qualified to talk about healing, because I’ve overcome a lot. If nothing else, you’ll get a juicy story.

Anyway, moving on. I grew up in a big family with a lot of testosterone and Type-A personalities. When I say, "a time was had," I mean it! My childhood was fun, and I was well-loved. My family taught me how to love people, even when they can’t love you back. They taught me about grace and understanding.

Now, this is where the pain comes in. Let me start by saying that no matter how awesome your parents or upbringing might be, because of sin in the world, everyone is going to go through something. I want to make that clear because I adore my family—all sides. They’ve always given me the best they had, but still, things happened. And now, as a parent, I get it. You’re always learning, and no matter what, trials and tribulations are inevitable. Our job as parents is to be a shield while teaching our kids to fight and stand in this world despite the storms that may come. In our home the real anchor is the Word of God and we stand on business in our home.

So yeah, things happened. My parents' divorce was the first big thing I had to deal with. That was a lot to handle as a kid. Then came the step-parents and half-siblings, which just added to the confusion. I often felt alone—not because I wasn’t loved—but because I didn’t know where I fit in. I didn’t know how to express myself, and that lack of communication turned into anger, resentment, and eventually, toxic relationships and a victim mentality.

But here’s the thing: what was meant to harm me, what was supposed to break me, turned into my superpower. And I plan on sharing all these parts of me—some are wild, some are happy (like graduating college, becoming an officer, working for Google), and some are sad. But isn’t that just life? We have ups and downs. My pastor once quoted someone saying, “In life, you’re either in a storm, coming out of a storm, or going into one,” and nothing has ever felt more true. I’ve had so many wins, but those wins wouldn’t mean nearly as much without the losses. Flawless victory!

Now, I know that sounds cliché, but it’s real. So, if you’ve come for some healing, a little spilled tea, or just a crazy story, you’re definitely in the right place. But if you’re here to see me bash people or drag anyone who hurt me, that’s not what this is. I’m going to be honest, open, and transparent about where I came from and where I am now.

So, please subscribe, because trust me—you’re not a mess by yourself. I’m right there with you. Hot mess and all.

Peace and love, family.